Thursday, October 21, 2010

Honesty

Not a whole lot of 'new' news to share this evening, other than that Zane will have the tracheotomy tomorrow. Basically, he's experiencing a lot more pain with the increased graft sites & is becoming tolerant to the pain meds. They're going to start putting him on propofol (an anesthetic drug) during dressing changes. With the increased sedation, they feel it's best to have the trach in to prevent any airway compromise. Tonight when they turned him, the nurse said he very clearly mouthed "ouch". We want him to be as comfortable as possible, so we are all in favor of the trach. However, it was good to see "signs of life" like that. The trach will also allow him to talk for brief periods with a 'cap' over the opening. The procedure will take place tomorrow at 7:30am, so if you're awake, whisper a prayer!

We got to see a picture of his grafted chest tonight.. While it was a little gruesome, we can see healing taking place and that is encouraging. It was kind of a stark reminder of the reality of this all though.. and was a little bit hard to take. I'll be honest, not every moment is easy. Every once in a while my heart aches for him.. Every once in a while I really, truly miss him. But during those times, I'm reminded how grateful I am for his life. Each day that I miss him brings me one day closer to life with him again. And I am ever thankful for that.

"Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy."
-Psalm 61:1-3

12 comments:

Mildred said...

I will be praying for the procedure early tomorrow morning. Courtney, I am praying for God to give you strength and peace that surpasses understanding during these difficult days.

Lori said...

Will be praying for Zane in the morning. I will even set my alarm to get up and pray! I know you miss Zane, we all do. My heart hurts for you. I agree that each day is one more day closer to spending more time with him. God is good and will keep you wrapped in his arms! I know it's not the same, but just think of me wrapping my arms around you. I love you and Zane and you are both are always on my mind and in my prayers.

Katie said...

Thanks for the update. I will be praying that Zane's pain subsides. I have no idea how hard it must be for you guys, but my family and I will keep praying for you both. Keep the updates coming- it's good to know what's going on! God Bless you both.

Its So Very Cheri said...

Roeshel from the diy showoff and is also part of the diy club with me, asked me to be praying for you.
I just want you to know each time you come to mind I will be praying for you, even if that is the middle of the night. I believe the Lord brings people to your mind EXACTLY when they need a prayer lifted on their behalf.

Cheri from
ItsSoVeryCheri.com and
TheDIYClub.com

btompkins11 said...

I will be praying. I also wanted you to know that our whole church is praying for you guys! God Bless!

Britany Tompkins

Lorraine said...

Dear Courtney, I am praying for the pain Zane is enduring to subside and that the source of the fevers be uncovered and treated. We haven't met, but I wish I could give you a hug! Stay strong, things will get better soon. The God who holds the universe is the God who is holding you!!!! I prayed for a good night for both you and Zane as well as an easy procedure for Zane in the morning and a peaceful heart for you Courtney. Rest as you can, have a good night. Hugs...Lorraine(Maine)

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort." --2 Corinthians 1:3

Jessica Davis said...

Courtney,
I know that sometimes your heart breaks for him b/c sometimes when I think about y'all, or I'm praying, or reading your stories I can't hold back the tears and I'm not his wife. I can't imagine what you are going through. Sometimes it's better to just cry it out, tell God how you feel and let him make you smile b/c you can feel him holding you and you can feel the joy that is going on in this tragic event. Tell us how you feel too if that's what you need to do. That's one of the many reasons we all read your blog; not just for updates about Zane but also to be here for you. We all love you so terribly much and we are just as concerned with your well-being as Zane's. I pray that God gives your great joy in knowing that your husband is safe in his hands. I also am praying constantly for Zane's pain and healing. He is doing so well and I'm so glad that he will be able to talk to you soon. I know you both need it! I love y'all!
Jessica Davis
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ."
~1 Thess. 5:16-18

Laura Nogard said...

Dear sweet Courtney, You are such a fighter. I'm proud of you for holding on tight. I'm sure Zane is proud of you too. The spirit of God is keeping you and Zane in His care. You exemplify Christ likeness and that is so admirable. What a beautiful example you are to so many people. You're strong, and determined, keep pushing forward.
I'm glad to hear your encouraged by everyone praying. God is so good, and He has been working continuous miracles in Zane's and your life! Thank you for all your updates. I like to hear what's going on. You're in my thoughts and prayers! Love you.

Anonymous said...

Dear:Coutney:
I pray that Zane pain will go away and that god will keep him strong and you strong. I am sure you are very lonely and miss Zane a night. I know that god is keeping you strong and his faith in you and I know that Zane will be bck home with you very soon. My prayers are with you always and I prayer for you everyday and your family also. Can you give me your address so I can send you a card for your birthday and a get well card and thinking of you card to you guys. Thanks. Love and God Bless. Donna M McEachaern

Elizabeth said...

7:28 a.m. - Praying for Zane's procedure and for you as well, Courtney. I bet you can't wait to be able to show him all the messages here so he can see how much you guys are loved. God bless, Libby

Lorraine said...

Dear Courtney,

Many are praying for Zane, the doctors and you this new day. Praying that the procedure Zane has done is quick and helps relieve the pain when dressing his wounds. This will be temporary and will give him some comfort. Praying that this is a much better day for all of you. Praying for your strength and peace through all of this. I homeschool my grandchildren (they don't know the seriousness) but are praying for you and Zane as well. My youngest(8) asked me to share the song she would like you to sing it in your heart...."Jesus love me yes I know because the bible tells me so..." I thought, I would share.....You are both on our hearts and in our continual prayers throughout the day. God bless...hugs! Lorraine(Maine)

Brenda said...

Courtney, the tears come some days for us on your behalf (as they do now). Yes, there are the hard parts to deal with too for you both. Knowing he is having the pain is hard, but am so glad they are on top of this, helping him be as comfortable as possible. Praying for you both, through thick and thin.

(As you find time to do so, may I offer a request from those of us following Zane's progress? The blogs are a little hard to read with the background color and the font color of some things being green. If that can be adjusted, that would help. Thank you.)