Saturday, November 13, 2010


Yesterday was another gift from god. That morning dad, mom, & I had a tear filled talk with Zane about everything that went on the day of the accident. He still has almost no memory of that day but he did tell us that he remembered some of the time he was here in the ICU. He said he remembered repeating "tell Courtney I love her" on the day of the accident & while sedated he thought he was in Mexico fighting a battle for his life. He said that the worst part was when he felt like he couldn't breathe. We're guessing that that was probably the night that he got ARDS and had all the issues with his lungs. It's kind of like he remembers things internally- things he was thinking or where he was, but not externally- things we said to him or operations he had. He said once, "I remember being really grumpy & kicking my legs around. I was so hot and no one would help me". We think this was probably when his temp was high and he was being really restless in bed, trying to climb out and stuff. He kept telling us how hard it had been for him, and with tears in his eyes he repeated several times, "It was rough, really rough". He told us that he truly thought that he was dying when he was "fighting his battle in Mexico". But, he came to a point that he realized he wasn't going to die, and said that he decided to bring as many people to Christ as he could. So I guess you could say he thought he was being a missionary to Mexico while he was sleeping, when really he was being a missionary to people around the world who were following his story. :)

The afternoon was a little slow for Zane. At one point he looked at me and said, "Do you have any idea how boring this is?". I smiled and told him I had a slight idea.. that I'd spent 4 1/2 weeks hanging out in the hospital while he slept. He definitely enjoys having visitors.. when mom, dad, and I were in there, we came to a lull in the conversation after having talked about so much. Zane glanced at the clock and asked, "So, is that all you've got to talk about?". All three of us pretty much jumped up and started talking. What Zane wants, he gets!

A little bit later in the afternoon, it was time for therapy. His PT came in and said that she wanted to get him up and try to take a couple of steps with a thoracic walker (a walker that has elbow-level arm supports and hand grips). His nurse fashioned him up a pretty stylish loin cloth & he was ready to go. But, instead of taking the expected couple of steps, he walked about 15 feet out of his room and into the hallway. They kept asking him if he needed to rest, and he just wanted to keep going. You could see the determination in his face. Dad got in front of the walker and encouraged him through each step. Mom pushed a chair behind him so that once he couldn't go any more, he could sit down. It was amazing. He just keeps blowing us all away.

Yesterday evening, Zane decided he wanted me to get in bed with him. I told him that I couldn't- that it was probably against the rules. His nurse must have overheard because he came in the room and said, "Sure, you can! It's good therapy". So, he scooted Zane over in bed and I layed down beside him. I looked over with a grin and said, "You're breaking all the rules. Happy now?". He just smiled and said, "Very". Again, what Zane wants, he gets. :)

He went all day without the ventilator, and as far as we know all night last night as well. If he keeps this up, it won't be long before the trach is removed. He's able to drink clear liquids now, but he hasn't had much appetite for the soup broth and Italian ice from the cafeteria. Can't blame him.. he's already getting 3,500 calories per day through his tube feedings.

Zane's body is struggling to regulate his temperature because of all the new skin and exposed areas. He's constantly feeling hot and cold, and gets rather annoyed with it. We do everything we can to help- adding and removing blankets, turning the fan off and on, wiping his face with a cool cloth, etc. What's particularly annoying is when he's trying to sleep. The constant body temp changes make it almost impossible for him to stay comfortable. When he still couldn't sleep last night around 11pm, he asked for a sleeping pill. They gave him some medication through the feeding tube, and before long he drifted off to sleep.

It was a phenomenal day. Zane just kept saying "Praise God" when he heard about all the people who have visited, sent cards, and read the blog. His heart is right where it should be, and he and I are definitely looking forward to how the Lord will use us each day. Already Zane has asked his nurses if they're Christians.. it's a bit comical, really. The medications seem to have taken away any inhibitions he had, so whatever he's thinking, he pretty much says. Each day is exciting now, and I seem to have acquired a full time job! I wouldn't have it any other way.


Anonymous said...

All I can say is PRAISE GOD!! i read this update with tears and goose bumps (and it's even warm here in Northern Maine today). Only God could cause Zane's healing to go so quickly. I know that God will use both of you while Zane is in the hospital.

Keep looking up,

Priscilla Phillips

Lorraine said...

Hi Courtney,
What an amazing God we have!!!! It is such a joy to read how the Lord is using both of you! Go Zane!!!! Ask everyone if they are believers!!! God had you there for His Glory!!! I got choked up reading your post today, as I often do. Choked up for what a mighty God we have and for both of you knowing that and sharing. I love the determination Zane has in getting better, too. I pray that soon that trach is out and that his body temps can regulate better. It's warm up here in Maine. Took a little break as we are splitting the last of our firewood, and it is absolutely a beautiful day! Thanking the Lord for that. Well, need to get back. So happy you were both able to snuggle! That's good for both of you! ;)
Have a great day! Hugs to both, and hope someday we meet! I know we will eventually!!!! Lorraine(ME)

Anonymous said...

I subscribed to your blog after I saw one of your projects...and I hoped to get other great ideas along the way. Little did I know then how wonderfully I would be blessed by your blog. The faith and trust you have in Christ...and the love you have for Zane is so uplifting. To see the strength that both you and Zane have is a blessing to me daily...and I know many others must feel the same way. I don't know how anyone who has read about your daily struggles and miracles cannot come away a better person for "witnessing" a true miracle. Thank you!

Kathysue said...

Courtney I have big tears in my eyes. When I read that he walked, talked and that you got to lay beside him. I just about lost it. I am so thankful to Gods mercy and so amazed at you both. You have such a testimony for God and I know that in the future after all of this is in the past you will be amazed at the journey you are going to have. Bless you both,Kathysue

Lindsay @ Aisle to Aloha said...

Praise God! He is really doing amazing things in that hospital and around the world through this situation! So happy to see Zane's progress and his heart for Christ in the midst of all that's going on.

You probably have thought of this but maybe reading a book aloud to Zane could help with some of the boredom. From what you said, he seems to be coherent enough to follow along and remember the story?

Sherri and Warren said...

Greetings from the West Ridge Road! I anxiously read your blog everyday to see what good news you have for us....the past few days have made me smile! It makes me want to do the "Happy Dance"! Zane is a remarkable man with such strenth! God is Good! Say Hi! to your family from the Cushman's!

Donna M McEachern said...

Dear: Courtney:
I am very glad we have a good god and that Zane is doing so good. Keep on doing a good job Zane. I pray everyday and everynight that Zane has a good day and a good night. I am so glad we have a good God. I thank god everyday for everything he has done for everyone and for Zane.
God Bless and Take care!Donna M McEachern

Heidi@TheCraftMonkey said...

Oh Courtney! Praise GOD! Our God is Good! And Zane is amazing, doing so much that they thought would take him much longer to do. Continuing to send up prayers for your sweet family!

Anonymous said...

Praising God for all he has done! Love seeing the pictures of you guys together. Would love to hear the story of how you met. I'm sure it is a good one!

Connie Bartlett said...

Dear Courtney and Zane

Praise God for the progress being made this week. We have been using your information to tell others how God has been in your lives through this entire ordeal. You certainly have touched so many lives. Zane has won so many to the Lord. It gives us smiles to see how hard you both are working to overcome this accident. We love you so much. Will be so glad to see you home soon. We love you with all our hearts.

Carol said...

Courtney and Zane,
I've been offline a lot recently, so you can imagine my delight when I read this post today!
Praise our faithful God! Wow. What wonderful, beautiful answers to prayer! Continuing to pray for a continued blessed recovery!